According to Wikipedia, a waiting room is a building or more commonly a part of a building, where people sit or stand until the event they are waiting for occurs. That would be cool...to JUST sit or stand and wait. JUST!!!
But typically, that simple concept never seems to take place while I wait. A waiting room becomes a place for my brain to take off into the land of conversation between me, myself, and I...and God, too. It's a golden opportunity for "the committee" (you know, the voices in the head. No, not auditory hallucinations or anything...really, just anxiety talking) to convene and get rather rowdy. And once that committee gets going...it's ON.
Here are the "minutes" from the committee meeting that took place in my head in the waiting room today...
Sit down. Pick a seat.
But what's taking so long? I know...the doctor is doing her job...thoroughly...and that's a good thing. Gratitude! Mental gratitude list. GO! I am grateful for my doctors. I am grateful for getting to be seen today. I am grateful for my kids, my husband, my friends, all of the people I have met on this melanoma journey. I am grateful for this day. GRATEful...but wouldn't it be GREAT if she took off tons of moles? I'm sure she won't. Is she too conservative? What if she misses something? OK, now just stop. I know that when I start "what if-ing" the committee has gotten completely out of hand. Move. Move a muscle, change a thought...I love that! I have to pee...get up and go to the bathroom. Action. That helps- walking, finding the bathroom. Good. And then I hear my name being called! Thank God! And I do just that...
I thank God that I am here and ask for help...to have more faith than fear.
We all experience this "waiting room" scenario differently. I would love to hear what your mind does in a waiting room. What goes through your brain? Be REAL about it. We are all human.
Thank you, Fugazi for this song.